Disorders in the Court...

These are excerpts of a book called "Disorders in the Court"... These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place...

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Question: What is your date of birth?
Answer: July fifteenth.
Question: What year?
Answer: Every year...

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Question: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
Answer: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Question: And why did that upset you?
Answer: My name is Susan...

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Question: And where was the location of the accident?
Answer: Approximately milepost 499.
Question: And where is milepost 499?
Answer: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

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Were you present when your picture was taken?

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Question: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Answer: Yes.
Question: And what were you doing at that time?

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Question: She had three children, right?
Answer: Yes.
Question: How many were boys?
Answer: None.
Question: Were there any girls?

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Question: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Answer: Yes.
Question: And these stairs, did they go up also?

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Question: How was your first marriage terminated?
Answer: By death.
Question: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Question: Can you describe the individual?
Answer: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Question: Was this a male or a female?

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Question: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Answer: All my autopsies are performed on dead people...

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Question: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Answer: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Question: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
Answer: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

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Question: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Answer: No.
Question: Did you check for blood pressure?
Answer: No.
Question: Did you check for breathing?
Answer: No.
Question: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Answer: No.
Question: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Answer: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Question: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Answer: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere...