English is an absolutely hilarious language...

• We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes...
• One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese...
• You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice...
• If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen...?
• If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet...?
• If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth...?
• Then one may be that, and there would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose...
• We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren...
• Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim...!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language...

• There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple...
• English muffins weren't invented in England...
• We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig...
• And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham...?
• Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend...?
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it...?
• If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught...?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat...?
• And I have always wondered if pro is opposite of con, how are congress and progress related to each other...
• Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane...
• In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital...?
• We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
• We have noses that run and feet that smell...
• We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway...
• And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites...?
• You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language, in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on...
• If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop...