One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, buddy, guess I should see a doctor..."
His friend said, "Don't do that... There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor... Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it... And it only costs ten bucks..."
The guy figured he had nothing to lose, as the doctor was going to bill him for 100 buxks at least... So, he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store... Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the 10 bucks... The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing... After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
- You have tennis elbow... Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour... It will be better in two weeks...
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled...
He decided to give it a try... He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, a urine sample from his wife, a spit sample from his daughter... To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction...
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in this new sample and deposited the 10 buxks... The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
- Your tap water is too hard... Get a water softener installed...
- Your dog has ringworm... Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo thrice a week...
- Your wife is pregnant... Twin Girls... They aren't yours... Get a lawyer...
- Your daughter is using cocaine... Put her in a rehabilitation clinic...
- And... If you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better...
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Special Note: Thanks to my brother Vaibhav Rastogi... I have copied this from his notes...
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